Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Tuesday is blargh!


1) Possible: XI - Lust

Energy. Drive. Getting shit done. Passionate pursuit of things I want. Alternately, it is possible to get what I want today. Which is exciting.

Determining what I actually want out of today would be the challenge. Things to work on: this.


Monday, July 30, 2012

"everyone's got a Monday..."


1) Possible: XX - The Aeon.

Are you serious? It's Monday, for fuck's sake. Nothing of actual importance ever happens on a Monday. Mostly to busy trying to avoid the mundane terrors that are conjured by the thoughts and fears of an entire populace concerning Monday as a mythical sort of beast intent on destroying us all.

But I like Aeons, mostly. I like the promise that this particular set of terrors is to an end, that there is something coming of it. It's tidy, and hopeful, and I've got way too many planets in Virgo and Sag to not be drawn to tidy, hopeful things.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Sunday


1) Possible: 5 of Swords - Defeat

Crowley: "Weakness rather than excess of strength seems to be the cause of the disaster....The defeat is due to pacifism."

I am pretty familiar with this one. A phone call not made or an errand avoided turns into some kind of mess.

What type of defeat/what thing needs to be dealt with? The Princess of Swords. Crowley again: "She is firm and aggressive, with great practical wisdom and subtlety in material things."

Oh, right. ALL OF THE THINGS. Just handle it. WTF, cards?

Saturday, July 28, 2012

The Necessary Tower

I spent much of yesterday ISO the Tower that showed up in my reading for the day. I told myself I would embrace it, given the chance.

I have an almost unlimited appetite for Towers and Aeons and indications that radical transformation is on the way. I am always looking for (r)evolution. Give me some moldavite and and initiatory vision and a new metaphor for death and rebirth any day. Let's fuck shit up. Let's burn it down.

Eventually, so goes the theory, one of these Big Bad Fundamental Shifts will leave me with something that's you know, actually workable. Something that I can poke and tweak into the life/mind/paradigm I want.

Nine Possible Swords


1) Possible: 9 of Swords. So, it is possible that today is really going to suck, what with the being so caught up in my own head that I hate everything. Here's hoping I can avoid that shit. It's not like I am even working or anything! And it's not like a day of idleness could in any way lead to me overthinking my life and ending up in a shitty headspace. Oh, wait.

2) Important: 10 of Wands. This is either a warning to not push too hard or a warning to not let myself be pushed at.

3) Courageous: Prince of Swords. Yesterday this was in spot #4. Not sure I get it. Meditation, maybe.

4) Futile: Knight of Cups. No intuitive fluff for me today. No inspiration.

5) Necessary: 6 of Disks. I have some work to do, apparently. I am not sure what this is. I am not working today. Anything I'd really like to be doing outside of that would be all Knight of Cups-y. Maybe laundry?

6) Joyful: 5 of Disks. This is not joyful! This card sucks and needs to stop following me around.

7) Funny: XV - The Devil. Really? Funny? Maybe to someone else. I'd really like to know who's been laughing at all of these.

8) Helpful: VII - The Chariot. Focus on the destination. Actually do things that bring me closer to the destination. Focus less on whatever terrible shit is going to happen today than on where I am heading.

I did a bit of pretty serious magick/visionary work last night, that I thought was pretty awesome and productive. Looking at this, I am wondering if maybe I just fucked it all up.

Nothing like drawing the 9 of Swords to make you immediately start feeling 9 of Swords-ish.

Friday, July 27, 2012

notes on some visionary work

This has been sitting in "draft" form for almost two months. The intention had been to expand upon it... these are the immediate post-trance notes.

I haven't done anything with it, though, and I decided that I kind of like it like this.

Friday: The Possibility of Kicking Ass and/or Being Destroyed in the Burning Tower

1) Possible: Queen of Wands. HELL YES. Also, this is Crowley issuing a challenge: remember that you do actually have some power, yeah?

2) Important: 9 of Wands. Again with the power. Today is a day for kicking ass, apparently. Noted.

3) Courageous: Ace of Swords. Again with you, Ace! Decisions, decisions. I think this is about school. Maybe I should, you know, actually deal with it.

4) Futile: Prince of Swords.  All these ideas and nowhere to go, no commitment. Yes, incredibly futile. This is a comment on all of those "maybe, yeah, sure, whatever" things I've got floating around. Mr. Prince is not in control of his own mind, and therefore can't get anything done.

5) Necessary: The Tower. Ummm... yeah, I guess. I don't like it, but I will keep my eyes open for radical change potential today.

6) Joyful: 7 of Swords. Normally I would make some crack about how useless this information is, but I totally get it right now! I am sufficiently caffeinated for the first time in a week and my brain is actually working and I GET IT. Some things are not under my power. Some things are not in my control. The "joyful" part of that is leaving those things alone, and focusing on the things I actually can deal with.

7) Funny: 7 of Cups. I am starting to wonder if "funny" in this reading means "strange" instead of "humorous." There is some strange 7 of Cups business about right now. Weird emotional detritus floating to the surface that I don't really want to deal with. AT ALL. Or maybe I am supposed to find humor in the situation, which I am having a hard time doing.

8) Helpful: Knight of Disks. Yeah, yeah, whatever. I hate Disks.

So - today = action and control and power and decisions! And that nasty emotional drama? Laugh at it! This is, perhaps, the most coherent and helpful this spread has been so far.

Also, watch out for Towers.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Thursday: Mission Impossible

Still doing the same 8-card reading. I am not sure whether I like it or not.

Assuming this is even possible with a cat determined to sit on my cards...

1) Possible: 4 of Wands. Oooh, actually getting shit done. Exciting. It kind of goes downhill from there, though.

2) Important: Ace of Swords. Being decisive and clear and other things at which I am terrible.

3) Courageous: 7 of Cups. Facing emotional nasties. Thanks for that.

4) Futile: Princess of Cups. I love Princess of Cups days, all drifty and inspired. Inspiration, though, is not happening today.

5) Necessary: 10 of Disks. Paying attention to resources, I guess.

6) Joyful: 3 of Cups. Duh.

7) Funny: Queen of Disks. Yesterday you were futile. Now you're funny. I get it - no control for me. Not sure, if the 10 of Disks is necessary, the Queen can be futile. Aren't you telling me two contradictory things?

8) Helpful: 5 of Disks. Seriously, you want to tell me that worrying about shit all day is helpful. I don't approve.

So, today: Get things done, be clear and decisive, but don't expect to be inspired. Focus on physical and material resources, and be happy, but don't expect to have any control over those resources, and definitely worry a lot, thereby accomplishing....nothing?

I'll sit this one out and move on to Friday, please.


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

the possibilities of Wednesday

This is possible: 6 of Wands - Valour

This is important: 5 of Cups - Disappointment

This is courageous: Princess of Wands

This is futile: Queen of Disks

This is necessary: Knight of Swords

This is joyful: VIII - Adjustment

This is funny: Ace of Wands

This helps you to get ahead: Princess of Swords

Today's best case scenario: much is accomplished, through a lot of effort (6W). I am having trouble reconciling that with the 5 of Cups, but I will be on the look out for disappointing things. The courageous part? Seeing this whole situation, whatever it might be, as an adventure (Princess of W), because actually being in control in any meaningful sense (Queen of Disks) will be impossible. It will be necessary to stay cool and objective about it, which is a difficult if I'm to be doing any Princess of Wands-ing. The joyful part of this is finding clarity and balance (VIII). I think this has to be important because it's the only major. In addition, being bitchy and critical might assist me (PsSw). I don't really get how the Ace of Wands is funny. It's a funny card, but...

There are too many court cards today and too many conflicting ideas. Get in there, fight hard, but it's not actually going to work. Have fun, but don't think for a second you're in control. Stay objective and cool unless you think you really need to be bitchy, in which case, feel free.

Sounds like a bit of a disaster, especially on so little sleep.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

when one card isn't enough

Over the weekend I picked up a copy of Complete Book of Tarot Spreads. What I really want is Barbara Moore's Tarot Spreads, but so far that one hasn't turned up for $4 at the used bookstore.

I used to be skeptical of these kinds of books. I mean, once you've seen enough spreads you can just make up your own, right? Are there really going to be any ideas in here that I couldn't have thought up on the fly?

The answer: sometimes, yes. Also, I was feeling like I needed a kick in the something. New idea, new inspiration, whatever.

Right now I am digging this 8-card spread out of the Complete Book called "Facing the Gap." I've actually started using it for daily readings, which might seem like a bit of overkill, but I've felt like I need a little more information, more nuance, than just one card can give. Also, if I'm going to be honest, my brain is a chaotic disaster mess right now. Astrology says what?

(Plus I'd been pulling Lust like almost every day and using it as an excuse to eat lots of ice cream. Which is not exactly the best strategy for me not being in a sugar coma.)

Without further rambling intro: the new spread, and today's cards.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

the gendered politics of sacrifice

I'm torn between my desire to write about this, as a theoretical exercise, and my aversion to any tendency towards policing individual choice. I will settle with a bit of disclaimer before I begin.

I have no interest in policing choices or identities. Literally none. Exploring the cultural contexts of those choices does not translate into criticism of individual choices or spiritual practice.


Few of us come to paganism, or any "alternative" spiritual or cultural identities, without some awareness of the archetypes that precede us. We may embrace them, flirt with them, or eschew them entirely, but we know them. In some ways our identities are bordered by these archetypes - providing inspiration, condemnation, or some mix of the two.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

no hx of trauma (the story of a very expensive trance)

I am having shoulder drama. Whatever. Shoulder drama isn't new. What's new, this time, is that after a month of ibuprofen abuse, and ice packs, and chiropractic appointments (two or three times a week), my doctor looked at me, with a bit of concern, and said, "I think we should schedule an MRI."  Cue panic, and everyone I know sharing rotator cuff stories, and finally me being so bored with the whole thing that I start moving conference room tables again because it's just pain, after all.


Sunday, July 8, 2012

two months hence, I still hate swords


Late monthly reading...

1) General Mood and Outlook: Queen of Swords

I am going to stab mofos.  Sweet.

2) Finances: 7 of Disks - Failure

.I don't want to hear this. There's a lot of fail in this area already. Short of repossession, eviction, or incarceration, I am really not sure what other failures might be in store.

Fix: XV - The Devil

I think I get it. It's not actually something I want to hear, but I think I get it.

3) Everyday Experiences: 7 of Swords - Futility

Cue nihilism.

Fix: Prince of Wands. Which is just Crowley's way of saying, "Well, I already told you there was nothing to be done with it, but if you'd really like to bash your ahead against your own powerlessness, please feel free. I've got popcorn."

4) Home: 8 of Swords - Interference

More nihilism.

Fix: 3 of Disks. Feel free to work your ass off although forces outside your control will render it moot. Thanks, cards.

5) Fun/Hobbies/Games/Whatever: 7 of Wands

So here we find the fight. Everything is fucked, but we're putting energy into hobbies? Seems to me the Queen of Swords isn't being as discerning as she likes to pretend.

6) Work: 2 of Cups - Love

Things get better at work. I now believe my cards are taunting me in retribution for that whole "almost setting Lust on fire" thing. (That's for another post.)

7) Partnership: 4 of Swords - Truce

The fix? There is no fix. The fix is the 10 of Swords. Leave it the fuck alone and it won't get worse.

8) Crisis/taboo: 4 of Cups - Luxury

Time to embrace a life of asceticism?

9) Higher Perceptions: XIV - Art

Ah, balance. Maybe I need to almost set Art on fire next. This might be the key to aligning some of this nonsense.

10) Public Recognition/Future of Occupation: XXI - The Universe

Light at the end of the tunnel? Is this even relevant?

11) Friendship: Prince of Disks

I think I could use some Prince of Disks energy right about now.

12) Secret hopes/fears: 9 of Wands - Strength

Stop mocking me, cards.