Friday, February 8, 2013

10 Days of Jupiter: Conclusion, Inconclusive

I'll admit that I was hoping that Jupiter would be as mind-blowing as Saturn. Even though I knew it was unlikely.

Even though I'm on Day 27 of this little experiment, and sobbing over a chime candle every day for 27 consecutive days would have fucked with my life a little bit.

Even though... well, whatever, it wasn't.

I didn't have any major revelations. I didn't hear cracking and splitting noises coming from somewhere inside my aura.

I felt a little more energized, a little more organized, and tolerated my job a little better.

Beyond that? Meh.
I am still doing Jupiter and Saturn on their respective days, and still getting a lot more resonance with Saturn.  I am going to make my next few Thursdays a little more intense in hopes of getting farther with it.

Monday, January 28, 2013

10 Days of Jupiter: Day 6 (Send in the hippies!)

Jupiter is easier than Saturn, and feels more like home. For the first few days, I wasn't even sure anything was happening. Saturn is visceral, immediate, and starkly contrasted with my usual modes of being.

Jupiter just feels like a pretty good day. A day in which I know I'll accomplish a lot, and somehow be higher up the mountain by the time I turn out the lights.

Friday, January 25, 2013

10 Days of Saturn: Day 10 ("This is it, the apocalypse...")

I'm waking up to ash and dust,
I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust,
I'm breathing in, the chemicals.*

10 Days of Saturn is complete. I am happy about that, but I am even more pleased that I did it, because... Whoa.

I was terrified of the prospect of this**, and the largest change I can cite right now is that I'm not scared anymore.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

10 Days of Saturn: Day 7

Having decided, more or less, to do this, in some fashion, there remained the fact that I didn't know jack shit about what I was doing or how to do it, until a late night, absinthe-fueled conversation with Satyr and Sthenno resulted in suggestions which turned into an actual plan. Candle + Orphic Hymn to Saturn. Basic, easy, nothing too likely to eat my face.

My goal was to start this particular set of activities on, you know, a Saturday. I was going to do it every Saturday for awhile until something exploded or got boring.

And then, I missed my first Saturday. I was tired or drinking or busy, and it didn't happen. But there was an urgency calling me, a lingering of that coldness I'd felt a few days before, sitting in my car, and the goal shifted. I could do it during one of the hours of Saturn. Every day. For ten days.* After that I plan to back down to every Saturday.

Friday, January 18, 2013

10 Days of Saturn: Intro

I.

The first time it happened, I was in a childhood basement. We were talking about magick; we weren't doing anything. And then, suddenly, I was.*

Suddenly the objects on the table were simply in the wrong places, and I sank to my knees and aligned them and poured some kind of charge over the cups we were drinking. I had no idea what was happening; only the urge for the physical actions was clear to me. At the time, I believe, I said that something had walked through me, because that was the only way I could explain that impulse coming from inside, right at my core.