tending the foundation (or, what I am so not doing right now)

For the record, I should not be blogging. I should be doing any number of things, but none of them are this. Also, warning: rambly.

A few weeks ago, a friend offered me a reading, which we finally got around to doing this morning. It's been a while since I got a reading from someone who wasn't me, and usually when I read for myself lately...let's just say it's not helping. There is a Hierophant, I don't know what he wants, we're in a standoff. More about that in another post.

My friend used a 7-card spread, one card for each chakra, which I kind of loved. I am a big fan of survey spreads - overviews. This is what's working, this is what you're fucking up, this is what the universe is attempting to beat into your head that you're not hearing. Right now I know that some things are working and some things are fucked, I just don't know which things are which.


In a reading a 7 cards, four were reversed. My only three upright cards were my fourth, fifth, and sixth chakras. "You're existing," she said, "between here and here." Hands at her forehead and heart.

And, holy shit, is that ever fucking true. That is so exactly what's wrong with me right now.

My second chakra was the Emperor reversed. We had a bit of a laugh about that, although I also found it unnerving.

The Empress at four, the Sun at five. Happy.

Power above me I'm not accessing, though. Power below me I'm not accessing. Foundational skills and resources that are being ignored.

How do I fix it? The King of Pentacles. Really. No shit. We are all so surprised. Take care of your shit, Aradia. Deal with things. Be in control.

Which is exactly enough to cause a panic attack, honestly, because I am not sure that I can be in control of everything right now.

But that King? He is sure. It's his fucking world we're talking about. Of course he's in control.

He probably doesn't run off into the woods for three days to recover from his life, but it's Beltane and fuck it. I will return a King. All triumphant and full of allusions to random literary tropes.

And while I'm out there, I'll do some serious searching for that guidance above me that I'm ignoring. Maybe figure out what the hell Mr. Hierophant is trying to tell me...