tending the foundation (or, what I am so not doing right now)

For the record, I should not be blogging. I should be doing any number of things, but none of them are this. Also, warning: rambly.

A few weeks ago, a friend offered me a reading, which we finally got around to doing this morning. It's been a while since I got a reading from someone who wasn't me, and usually when I read for myself lately...let's just say it's not helping. There is a Hierophant, I don't know what he wants, we're in a standoff. More about that in another post.

My friend used a 7-card spread, one card for each chakra, which I kind of loved. I am a big fan of survey spreads - overviews. This is what's working, this is what you're fucking up, this is what the universe is attempting to beat into your head that you're not hearing. Right now I know that some things are working and some things are fucked, I just don't know which things are which.

ma(y)nia

"Shrill as a choir of children 
Urgent like the first day of May 
False and inflatable feeling
Tugs at my senses, big as the Macy's Parade..."
- Bright Eyes

Life is better since I put my altar right.

There is a peace in sunlight and wind and brilliant green, of letting the hum and buzz of life rush over and through.

But it is urgent. Behind or under or below that stillness, there is vibrant singing, desperate want. Trees are serene, perhaps, but leaves are vicious, reckless, demanding. On the smallest levels they are all screaming more, and so am I.

More of that, please. I want more light and touch and sound and taste. I am greedy, taking everything that I can, every opportunity to say yes, to abstain from rest, to absorb the sun of activity or conversation.

The world is greedy, too, asking more and more of me, and I am breathless with all that I can't keep giving, except that giving and getting are mostly the same, and every time I open my mouth and ask for more, I get it. I give it. We go on.

I suppose I can sleep in the fall.

Quick note re: Beltane candle

I am really fascinated by the feeling of grounding into an energy sink that's (physically, at least) about twenty miles away. It's easier than I expected, and that makes me a little nervous.

But I had a headache for about thirty seconds, and simply sent it away. I experienced a brief bit of homicidal anger at someone stopped next to me at a red (because, I'm sorry, I should not be able to hear Rush Limbaugh playing in your car when your windows are closed, and I sure as fuck should not be able to quote him thirty minutes later) but smoothed it out, reorganized it a little bit, and sent it home.

The headache I wasn't worried about sending straight-up: just excess energy. The rage needed a little work before I felt safe launching it towards my altar.

But - thirty seconds, a minute, and it's gone. I have been more productive at work today than the last few weeks combined, and that's not just the caffeine.

Beltane

It's Beltane time, kids.

But wait, Aradia, you might say, Beltane is like two weeks away.

To which I might respond, with sincere respect, where the fuck have you been?

It's been Beltane since the Equinox, at least.

COTD: 7 of Wands (ten thousand cupcakes)

Wanna fight?

Sure.


I love the 7 of Wands.