10 Days of Saturn: Intro

I.

The first time it happened, I was in a childhood basement. We were talking about magick; we weren't doing anything. And then, suddenly, I was.*

Suddenly the objects on the table were simply in the wrong places, and I sank to my knees and aligned them and poured some kind of charge over the cups we were drinking. I had no idea what was happening; only the urge for the physical actions was clear to me. At the time, I believe, I said that something had walked through me, because that was the only way I could explain that impulse coming from inside, right at my core.

The Necessary Tower

I spent much of yesterday ISO the Tower that showed up in my reading for the day. I told myself I would embrace it, given the chance.

I have an almost unlimited appetite for Towers and Aeons and indications that radical transformation is on the way. I am always looking for (r)evolution. Give me some moldavite and and initiatory vision and a new metaphor for death and rebirth any day. Let's fuck shit up. Let's burn it down.

Eventually, so goes the theory, one of these Big Bad Fundamental Shifts will leave me with something that's you know, actually workable. Something that I can poke and tweak into the life/mind/paradigm I want.

notes on some visionary work

This has been sitting in "draft" form for almost two months. The intention had been to expand upon it... these are the immediate post-trance notes.

I haven't done anything with it, though, and I decided that I kind of like it like this.

no hx of trauma (the story of a very expensive trance)

I am having shoulder drama. Whatever. Shoulder drama isn't new. What's new, this time, is that after a month of ibuprofen abuse, and ice packs, and chiropractic appointments (two or three times a week), my doctor looked at me, with a bit of concern, and said, "I think we should schedule an MRI."  Cue panic, and everyone I know sharing rotator cuff stories, and finally me being so bored with the whole thing that I start moving conference room tables again because it's just pain, after all.

pop goes my brain

I have spent the last 20 hours debating with myself how, or even if, I might write about the last 20 hours. Words feel cumbersome and pointless; if you were here I'd hold a piece of the way I feel in my hands, let you touch it.

I feel confident that somehow you'd understand.

In lieu of that, I guess I will have to try at words.  I know this is probably really incoherent, but I also think it's important to write it down, for my sake if for no other reason.

2011 In Review: The Fool

I am inspired by The Sassy Sibyl's 22reflect: 2011 prompts, using each of the major arcana as a lens through which to analyze your experiences, progress, etc in 2011.  It's a very cool project.

I initially decided I would work through the questions she provided, but... I am going to use my Thoth cards instead, mostly because I hypothesize that I might get a lot out of sitting and meditating with each card physically in my hands. Or, to up the stakes a bit, actually throw up a circle, trance out, and go visit the folks myself.

Did I mention that I plan to do all of the majors? One each day until I am done?

I might also be effing insane.