I am inspired by The Sassy Sibyl's 22reflect: 2011 prompts, using each of the major arcana as a lens through which to analyze your experiences, progress, etc in 2011. It's a very cool project.
I initially decided I would work through the questions she provided, but... I am going to use my Thoth cards instead, mostly because I hypothesize that I might get a lot out of sitting and meditating with each card physically in my hands. Or, to up the stakes a bit, actually throw up a circle, trance out, and go visit the folks myself.
Did I mention that I plan to do all of the majors? One each day until I am done?
I might also be effing insane.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Friday Fluffy-Smushy: I Dream of Professors
(AKA, Delusions of Grandeur and the Mediocrity Inspired Thereby)
By way of a disclaimer, or explanation, or some other such self-appeasing bullshit: this space intended to be one in which I write about tarot readings and meditations and herbal experiments and ritual constructions and projects. I will write about all of those things.
I feel, though, that in order to discuss those things effectively, and coherently, it will be necessary to delve into some nasty internal shit that might seem either desperately self-involved or inexcusably irrelevant.
To which I say, simply, fuck it.
I had a dream about a professor last night.
By way of a disclaimer, or explanation, or some other such self-appeasing bullshit: this space intended to be one in which I write about tarot readings and meditations and herbal experiments and ritual constructions and projects. I will write about all of those things.
I feel, though, that in order to discuss those things effectively, and coherently, it will be necessary to delve into some nasty internal shit that might seem either desperately self-involved or inexcusably irrelevant.
To which I say, simply, fuck it.
I had a dream about a professor last night.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
NYNY: Goals
My dearest darlings, I simply love goals. The hope and anticipation and planning and spreadsheets and shopping! (For what is a plan, without shopping?)
Follow through is another story.
I have to fight the nasties that tell me that this is just like every other time that I set out to accomplish something and failed. I have to remind myself of one of my Very Important Things I've Learned Lately:
Most people don't accomplish half of the shit they talk about doing. Most of the plans we plan and schemes we scheme come to nothing at all. This is natural, normal, human bullshit. Sometimes life gets in the way and fucks us up and sometimes we just get so caught up in the fun of listening to ourselves talk about all the Somedays and Somehows that we don't even think about the reality of our situations.
However, part one: some of the things we plan and scheme do come to pass.
However, part two: all of those talks of Somedays and Somehows are a lot of fun, on their own merit, especially when accompanied by good company and at-least-decent wine.
Something to remember, as I embark upon this.
Follow through is another story.
I have to fight the nasties that tell me that this is just like every other time that I set out to accomplish something and failed. I have to remind myself of one of my Very Important Things I've Learned Lately:
Most people don't accomplish half of the shit they talk about doing. Most of the plans we plan and schemes we scheme come to nothing at all. This is natural, normal, human bullshit. Sometimes life gets in the way and fucks us up and sometimes we just get so caught up in the fun of listening to ourselves talk about all the Somedays and Somehows that we don't even think about the reality of our situations.
However, part one: some of the things we plan and scheme do come to pass.
However, part two: all of those talks of Somedays and Somehows are a lot of fun, on their own merit, especially when accompanied by good company and at-least-decent wine.
Something to remember, as I embark upon this.
The Knight of Cups (consider the source)
My Card of the Day is the Knight of Cups.
Excepting the instances in which a court card generally signifies someone I know, I despise courts as daily cards. I am unsure how to proceed. Shall I look for this Knight, or be him? Avoid or emulate? And once those questions are answered, we must decide more specifically which aspects we are addressing.
Fire of Water, inspiration and action, sure thing! Does this mean I don't get to go back to bed?
I have historically found Banzaf & Theler's "Keywords" to be a very helpful source. It is especially useful when one has already spent one's daily allotment of espresso (or bourbon, or NSAIDs) attempting to decode Crowley's take on a particular card. Often, I understand what he's saying, I am just not sure what he means.
Excepting the instances in which a court card generally signifies someone I know, I despise courts as daily cards. I am unsure how to proceed. Shall I look for this Knight, or be him? Avoid or emulate? And once those questions are answered, we must decide more specifically which aspects we are addressing.
Fire of Water, inspiration and action, sure thing! Does this mean I don't get to go back to bed?
I have historically found Banzaf & Theler's "Keywords" to be a very helpful source. It is especially useful when one has already spent one's daily allotment of espresso (or bourbon, or NSAIDs) attempting to decode Crowley's take on a particular card. Often, I understand what he's saying, I am just not sure what he means.
Monday, December 26, 2011
New Year, New You: Making Way
Since I'm running behind on these prompts, and have postponed laundry plans in favor of drinking a whole pot of peppermint tea, now seems just as good a time as any to dive into my next post.
This type of prep work is difficult for me, primarily because my life up until this point has been an exercise in not actually pursuing any goals until all of my shit is together. I can't, you know, really have a serious spiritual practice, or devote any time to writing, or think about my future career, or have kids, or go back to school, until all of my ducks line up in a row waiting for instructions. Right?
Unfortunately, in my world, all or nothing usually means nothing. If I can't start until I've finished, I am caught in a conundrum that Lazy Me finds particularly soothing, because there's really not much point in trying. (Self-defeating? Me? Never!)
Fortunately, though, exploring this great gray area between all or nothing is already on my list of not-quite-yet articulated goals, and this is a great way to begin.
This type of prep work is difficult for me, primarily because my life up until this point has been an exercise in not actually pursuing any goals until all of my shit is together. I can't, you know, really have a serious spiritual practice, or devote any time to writing, or think about my future career, or have kids, or go back to school, until all of my ducks line up in a row waiting for instructions. Right?
Unfortunately, in my world, all or nothing usually means nothing. If I can't start until I've finished, I am caught in a conundrum that Lazy Me finds particularly soothing, because there's really not much point in trying. (Self-defeating? Me? Never!)
Fortunately, though, exploring this great gray area between all or nothing is already on my list of not-quite-yet articulated goals, and this is a great way to begin.
Intro: The Inconvenient Priestess
Every day, more or less (when I can remember to do so and my morning schedule hasn't been reduced to "only five minutes left, what's more important, coffee or shoes?"), I draw a single card from my trusty Thoth deck with the question: "What should I focus on today?" On an average day, this elicits either a "Well, duh, Crowley!" (8 of Wands on a day when I know I won't even have 5 free minutes to eat a Pop Tart) or a "Fuck you, too!" (anything in Swords.)
Lately, though, my deck seems to be evolving, or to have taken the position that I should be. My card of the day, more often than not, issues a challenge, a call to focus on something that can't possibly be consistent with the day that I have planned. 3 of Disks when all I can think of is lounging about in bed, the Princess of Wands when my to-do list is filled with tedious and mundane things, or the Priestess on Christmas Eve.
Lately, though, my deck seems to be evolving, or to have taken the position that I should be. My card of the day, more often than not, issues a challenge, a call to focus on something that can't possibly be consistent with the day that I have planned. 3 of Disks when all I can think of is lounging about in bed, the Princess of Wands when my to-do list is filled with tedious and mundane things, or the Priestess on Christmas Eve.
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